Never Be With You
by Jazbez
Summary: "For the briefest of moments, her eyes had caught mine and we looked at each other. What I saw when our eyes met still moves me after all these years. I had seen a life flash by me." One Sided LuCa and mentions of NaLu.


**Disclaimer: I, Jz (add the rest of the letters in between), do not own 'Fairy Tail' or 'You're Beautiful', instead, they are owned by their respectful owners.**

**This story was written and inspired by 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt**

I hear the wondrous sound of her laughter, pure and unadulterated in pitch and sincerity as it always is. I don't have to turn around to look at the source, as I already know what I'd see; a girl, no, a woman whose image always took me by surprise, no matter how much I have secretly memorized the image beforehand. Cocoa brown eyes would be what I'd see, always shining with mirth whenever I steal a glance at them from the bar.

She would undoubtedly be with her normal group, the stoic and strong Erza, determined yet aloof Gray, sometimes sweet innocent Wendy would be with them too, accompanied by Carla. Happy would undoubtedly be with them as well, floating above their heads, listening in and occasionally poking fun at them. And then Natsu would be with her as well, always by her side, while I sat alone at the bar.

I'll never forget when I first laid my eyes on her, seeing how her eyes stared at everything and anything when she entered the guild for the first time. I saw how she focused on one person, then focus on another less than a second later. I saw how her eyes showed a mixture of confusion and humor at seeing Jet's hat and Droy's hair, saw how she looked at Mira in awe and then how she laughed when Mira transformed into Wakaba's wife. I caught how she reacted to the fights spread throughout the guildhall, seeing how she enjoyed every moment of it.

And then she looked my way, only for me to look away and berate Gray. I had acted as though his lack of clothes affected me, even though I had seen him do it constantly over the years we had known each other. Rather, I did it to hide the flush on my cheeks, one which she probably thought was due to the alcohol I was drinking, thinking I was drunk.

In truth, I was scared of what had just happened. For the briefest of moments, her eyes had caught mine and we looked at each other. What I saw when our eyes met still moves me after all these years. I had seen a life flash by me.

I saw myself approaching her outside the guildhall one day. I saw myself fumble over my words, how my eyes just couldn't seem to meet hers, and how timid I looked. I saw her shocked face as time went by as I fumbled, how her eyes showed a mixture of both confusion and curiosity, before she nodded once. It was the day when I first asked her out on a date.

I saw myself walking her home one day after a date, her hand held gingerly in my hand as we walked. I saw us stop at her doorway, only for her to lean forward and kiss me on the cheek before she slipped inside. I saw myself standing still for minutes afterwards in front of her door, how my hand rested on the cheek she had kissed with a shocked expression on my face. It was our first kiss.

I saw her and I, I saw us carrying cardboard boxes into my apartment. I saw how the furniture was pushed to the side, making room as more and more of the boxes took up the furniture's former places. I saw how we joked and talked as we brought the boxes up, discussing what would go where, and what would be kept or put away, and all the while there was a smile on both our faces. It was the day that she moved in with me.

I saw her and I, both of us outside in the night. We were in the park, one that we visited several times on our dates, either to talk, eat, or simply be near each other. I saw how the night was slightly illuminated, how the lights from town peaked over the tops of the trees. I saw us stop underneath an oak, I saw myself kneel down, taking her hand into mine. I saw how I looked beyond nervous, but looking straight ahead as I talked to her. I saw her, I saw how her emotions went to confusion when we stopped, how they went to surprise as I began to kneel in front of her, how they went to disbelief when I took her hand in mine and talked. I saw how she rushed forward and embraced me and how she continuously nodded her head. I saw the tears in both our eyes throughout. It was the day I had proposed.

I saw myself, dressed in a fitted tuxedo. I saw the room I was in, high and spread out. I saw the flowers that adorned seats and decorations. I saw the rows of seats and the large amount of white that surrounded the entire scene. I saw how nervous I looked up in front, my hands wringing around one another in anticipation. I saw a few of our friends to both of my sides, some seemingly nervous as well, others sending me encouraging smiles and looks, and the rest craning their necks to see the entrance to the room more clearly. I saw in front of me a mass of people sitting in the rows of seats. I saw how they themselves were all dressed in dresses or tuxedos, all of them adding a mixture of colors to the group. I saw how they looked around, how they talked to one another, how they were smiling during the entirety of the wait. I saw how they stopped talking, how the sound stopped and music began to play, to see the group turn around to look at the entrance. I saw Makarov walking forward with her hand in his, I saw the smile that was on his lips, the way that his eyes were tearing up with each step. I saw her, I saw her in a flowing white dress. I saw how time seemed to slow down around her, how each step closer was frightening and rewarding at the same time. I saw how she reached the front of the room and how she stood beside me. I saw how her face was covered in a veil, and I saw how her eyes were visible underneath. I saw warm cocoa eyes staring into mine, and I saw how they shared everything that the both of us wanted to say. It was the day of our wedding.

I saw the two of us, sitting together in a room. I saw the room we were in, I saw how it seemed to be plain. I saw how it held a simple couch, a few small wooden stools, a plain looking rug. I saw how the walls were painted into a seemingly neutral white, how it seemed to clash with the dark brown wood of the door in front of us. I saw how nervous the two of us looked, I saw how she leaned closer to me as we waited, how she clenched my hand for support. I saw how I had a worried frown on my face, and how I pulled her closer to me. Then I saw the door open, I saw an older woman lead in a child. I saw the child sit down on the opposite side of the table of us while the woman left again. I saw the child, a young boy with a similar nervousness that we had. I saw his slim build and the short red hair that was on his head, as well as the dusting of freckles on his face that drew others into his bright jade eyes. I saw the three of us talk to one another, I saw how he shared with us his likes and dislikes, what he wanted to do with his life, how he had fears and dreams. I saw the two of us listening with undivided attention, I saw how we shared our own dreams and wants, how we enjoyed sharing our lives as his ease with us grew. I saw how we stood up, I saw how she and I shared a look and a smile before nodding to the boy in front of us. I saw how he ran up to us, joy in his eyes as he hugged the two of us just as the old woman reentered the room. I saw the three of us leave the room together, how he held one of our hands in each of his own. It was the day we adopted a child.

As time went on, I saw more and more. I saw times where we were angry at each other, to times where we loved each other unconditionally. I watched as the city and the world around us stayed the same, while at the same time I watched the two of us grow older and greyer. And I cherished every moment of it.

But then, everything stopped, and I realized that her eyes weren't looking into mine anymore. Instead, she was looking towards another guild member, leaving me forgotten and alone, thinking about what I had just felt. In a brief moment I had lived an entire lifetime, one that I had spent with her. It was perfection. And I realized that I wanted to live another one with her.

But I was too timid. I was too scared to act and to win her affections, scared that she wouldn't feel the same. I was, after all, just another member of the guild among dozens of others, I hadn't even introduced myself to her yet. I was only known by my appearance and magic, not by name or personality. And it hurt me to realize that, but I was still too scared to change that.

Instead, I saw her get closer to the others. I saw her join Natsu and the others on missions, instead of me offering to help her. I saw her talk to the others when it was me that wanted to talk to her, to tell her how I feel, to show who I really was to her. Instead, I watched from the sidelines, imagining that she was spending her time with me and we had the relationship that she was having with the others.

I protected her when she needed me, during guild brawls I tried to keep the others away from where she was sitting and watching. I worried for her when she left on missions and I sighed every time that she would return safe and unharmed. I was seething when Natsu forced the S-class mission on her, angry and worried that she wouldn't return. When she was captured by Phantom Lord, I tried my hardest to rescue her. I fought on the ground with the others, hoping that i was giving the others enough time to rescue her.

Everyday was another where I watched and waited, hoping that she would come to me. And then, she came when I needed her. The exams were supposed to be my chance to tell her my hopes, my dreams, our future together. But instead, I let it all fall away from me.

We confided with each other, I told her secrets and fears that no one else knew about. I shared my life with her and told her more about myself than even I knew, and I felt hopeful. She encouraged me, joined me in my dreams and wants and I couldn't have loved her more in that moment than I had previously. And I hoped that as soon as we finished the exams I could tell her how I really felt about her.

But I threw it all away in a moment. I was so caught up in the exams, in how she supported me to win, to tell my father who he really was to me, that I threw it all away in an instant. I left her behind, at the mercy of strangers, to win. We didn't know that the danger was present, but I still left her behind and that hurt me more than anything else ever did. I did go back for her but I already knew that even though she had forgiven me, I didn't forgive myself, and that was enough.

And then she showed even more of herself to me, even though I left her behind she still wanted to help and support me. She encouraged me to talk to my father, she encouraged me to have a family, and I knew at that instant that I genuinely loved her. And also that I had to let her go.

She was still my everything, my hopes and dreams, but I knew that I didn't deserve her. Instead, I became a friend to her, we egged each other on, we talked, we gossiped, and I loved it. And even though it could have been more, I was happy that we had each other, even if it was only a friendship.

And then the days went on. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and then months turned to years. I saw her grow up and I was content with my life, and I was genuinely happy for her.

I saw her grow closer to Natsu. I saw them start to live the life that I imagined would have been our own. I saw them begin to date, and see how happy they were. I heard her talk about how he proposed and I stood with her as a bridesmaid during her wedding. I saw the house that they moved into with one another, and I saw the two of them start a family.

And even though it wasn't with me, I was happy that she was able to live the life that she wanted. Afterall, I had already lived a lifetime with her when we met for the first time.

**(2332 words)**

**I knew that I could have added more, but I felt that the ending was the one that the story deserved and it just felt right to me.**

**The premise of living a life in a moment was based on an interview Blunt did, "It's kind of miserable. It was about seeing my ex-girlfriend on the Underground in London [...] She and I caught eyes and lived a lifetime in that moment [...] and I haven't seen her since." It was also because of this that I had eyes and sight be a major part of the narration.**

**A notice, a friend of mine, Powerman911, and I are thinking of doing a collab for the show 'Young Justice' so it may or may not interfere with my writing.**

**Now then, I have updated my profile to show how and for what reasons I write the way I do, so enjoy.**


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